If you know mysuestories at all (and by now, you should, dear reader), you know that I prance to the beat of a different oboe...I just don't like to be doing what the rest of the world is doing. In the movie "Midnight Express"? I am the only person cheering Billy Jack on as he walks around the pole counter clockwise. I do live on the edge, huh?
Anyway..while most of the blogging world is heading to Chicago to attend Blog Her (even the Hims that blog are all going!), where everyone will trade all the latest in techno secrets as they text each other on their gadgety new fangled phones while sipping mojitos.....I shall be heading to the land of no. As in no t.v., no cable, no cell phone service, and (gak) no Internet connection.
A nice cushy childLESS stay in a suite hotel was a bit much to ask for. Oh, no, not me. I opted (Options? I had options?) to camp in the mountains (Lions and Tigers and Bears oh MY!) with the family and forty of our nearest and dearest.
(a.k.a. - AmIoutofmyf@ckingmind?!!!)
Whats' five hours smushed in a car with complete strangers humping all my shit so I can unpack it in a rustic setting and sleep on rocks for the love of Christ?
But THIS is when I realized just how long this weekend was really gonna be.
mysuestories: "Er, mountain man? Who ARE all those strangers in the back seat?"
mountain man: "mysuestories, I'd like to REintroduce you to our kids."
mysuestories: "Even the short one with the game stick thingy growing out of his hands?"
mountain man: "Gamester, say hello to your mother."
gamester: "Hi mother. "
mysuestories: to mountain man "Are you sure he's one of ours?"
mountain man: sighs heavily...."This week will be good for all of us."
Yeh. Nothing like sleeping in the great outdoors worrying about bear attacks and falling rock territory. I don't think I could out run a bear in the sorry shape I'm in these days.
mysuestories: "Er, mountain man? Did you pack any snacks and chips and dip?"
mountain man: "Of course. I know what you like." He sure does, and it usually comes wrapped in foi with a fat content label of over 30%, protein 0%. No sense dieting now. Too late to train to run from that bear.
mysuestories: "Er, mountain man? Did you pack any honey?"
He nods.
Great!!! If I can't out run the bear, I'll just coat one of those strangers in the backseat with honey. Then I only have to out run that one kid......Genius. Pure genius.
See ya in a few days. Hopefully. Sigh.
Showing posts with label camping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label camping. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
A Hen In the Pen, Sam I Am
Well, campers and readers, mysuestories and clan spent the holiday weekend camping at our local beach with many friends and family.
And, as usual, there was a fair amount of family:
And friends:
Plenty of Christmas trees in May:
And carefully sorted firewood:
Some new tents appeared---Even one with closets!!!
And plenty of man-love!
But the high light of our trip occurred when my new-to-camping dad took our gaming addict and his two cousins back to mysuestories manor to let our dachshunds out for a while.
Twenty minutes later, I received the only phone call where the reception actually worked at the beach, and it was our gaming addict calling to say,
"There's a hen in the pen! There's a hen in the pen!" Sam I AM? Green eggs and Ham?
HUH?
Well, it turns out, one of our neighborhood hens had decided to take a walk in our dogs' pen that morning. And our unsuspecting gamester unwittingly let out chainsaw on legs dog, Rusty, (you, remember her, the sexually frustrated one, star of MYSUESTORIES: That Doggy has Style )
Well, bedlam ensued as Rusty went on the attack to defend her turf, and this poor chick may as well have had a fox in the hen house. At one point, the chick tried to play dead (I think!), and Rusty let go....alas, only to move in for the kill, which, unfortunately, the hen was well alive for!
All the while, the kids are hooting and hollering, as my poor dad is trying to get a rake between the hen and dog. Now the hen had two problems...she's being eaten by my dog and being attacked with a rake by a crazy man!!!!!
The gamester called us back, as we raced to the crime scene to tell us that while my dad had rescued the poor chicken from Rusty, he was mortally wounded. He then reported that my dad was now, (and I quote-Ya can't make this shit up, people!)- My dad was now CHOKING THE CHICKEN in our backyard!
We got home to find one dead chicken (yes, a bird, and not a pecker as we feared!) and a dog pen in which it looked as if a goose down pillow had exploded!!!!
Oh yeah, there was also this on YOU TUBE:
WARNING- NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLC6_hRcxCI
Apparently, in my nephews' neck of the woods, when there's a Hen In The Pen, that's a cue for the iPhone to start arollin'!!!! Good show, kids!
Oh, and the newbies to our camping trip (IE:Dad and nephews)? Can't wait till Labor Day! Make sure your phones are charged at all times!!!!!
And, as usual, there was a fair amount of family:
 |
| From Camping Memorial Day 2009 |
And friends:
 |
| From Camping Memorial Day 2009 |
Plenty of Christmas trees in May:
 |
| From Camping Memorial Day 2009 |
 |
| From Camping Memorial Day 2009 |
And carefully sorted firewood:
 |
| From Camping Memorial Day 2009 |
Some new tents appeared---Even one with closets!!!
 |
| From Camping Memorial Day 2009 |
And plenty of man-love!
 |
| From Camping Memorial Day 2009 |
But the high light of our trip occurred when my new-to-camping dad took our gaming addict and his two cousins back to mysuestories manor to let our dachshunds out for a while.
Twenty minutes later, I received the only phone call where the reception actually worked at the beach, and it was our gaming addict calling to say,
"There's a hen in the pen! There's a hen in the pen!" Sam I AM? Green eggs and Ham?
HUH?
Well, it turns out, one of our neighborhood hens had decided to take a walk in our dogs' pen that morning. And our unsuspecting gamester unwittingly let out chainsaw on legs dog, Rusty, (you, remember her, the sexually frustrated one, star of MYSUESTORIES: That Doggy has Style )
Well, bedlam ensued as Rusty went on the attack to defend her turf, and this poor chick may as well have had a fox in the hen house. At one point, the chick tried to play dead (I think!), and Rusty let go....alas, only to move in for the kill, which, unfortunately, the hen was well alive for!
All the while, the kids are hooting and hollering, as my poor dad is trying to get a rake between the hen and dog. Now the hen had two problems...she's being eaten by my dog and being attacked with a rake by a crazy man!!!!!
The gamester called us back, as we raced to the crime scene to tell us that while my dad had rescued the poor chicken from Rusty, he was mortally wounded. He then reported that my dad was now, (and I quote-Ya can't make this shit up, people!)- My dad was now CHOKING THE CHICKEN in our backyard!
We got home to find one dead chicken (yes, a bird, and not a pecker as we feared!) and a dog pen in which it looked as if a goose down pillow had exploded!!!!
Oh yeah, there was also this on YOU TUBE:
WARNING- NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLC6_hRcxCI
Apparently, in my nephews' neck of the woods, when there's a Hen In The Pen, that's a cue for the iPhone to start arollin'!!!! Good show, kids!
Oh, and the newbies to our camping trip (IE:Dad and nephews)? Can't wait till Labor Day! Make sure your phones are charged at all times!!!!!
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