Saturday, January 26, 2019

Long Live the Printed Word-No This is NOT a Religious Post

So the Mountain Man and I were faced with the very, very, very worst thing that can happen to people over 40...okay, okay,  maybe over 50....(Fine..Close friends....Screw you and your knowledge of our true ages....)   possibly closer to 60 than 50...(Spoiler Alert:   Only one of us is closer to sixty.....And it isn't me! )

Any way...  the time for change had come at mysuestories manor....We had broken out our dear old friend, lappy toppy,  and the Mountain Man decided to book us a vacation to celebrate his, ahem...closer to sixty than fifty birthday.

Days of crawling the internetz..  Vicious, shall I say discussions occurred on the place of celebration.  Finally, it was decided (and may I just add...NOT BY ME)...on a destination.....

So, travel agents were engaged...arrangements were put in place......payments were, well, paid. And that's all I have to say about that (Jenai!)...

The moment of truth arrived and the Mountain Man said, "Hey, mysuestories" (cuz that's what he calls me.. really, I swear....I consider it a title....like Queen Elizabeth probably answers to "Queenie" in the comfort of her HUGE castle..... I answer to my title.  Which should probably be "MYSUESTORIES; Queen of all of the land in which we inhabit"....

Okay...so back to our moment of truth......the Mountain Man says (please forgive me dear reader, but my life is nothing if not repetitious: Wash.  Rinse.  Repeat.)  "Hey, mysuestories, print out the receipts and itinerary for the vacation site that I asked you to pick and then ignored your numerous choices to".   Well, at least that's what I heard.

So being the good little wifey (and the most computer-abled body in our household ---hey, Mountain Man, you may pick the destination, but there will be consequences....firstly..that I out your technological skillz to all of our friends, family, and the entire mysuestories reading public ...Yep!  All 3 of you!)    So, I hit the print button -   so far so good- and then waited...and waited ...and waited for our printer to produce something....Something, that is, other than exorbitant ink replacement charges and fees.


Well, turns out good old Petey the Printer was on his last leg...which was weird, because anyone with a printer should know they don't have appendages...   But if our printer did have lifelike qualities?  Well let's just say it was time to visit Dr. Kervorkian...

Now, I know it was a rather sudden, painless(I hope) demise..but mysuestories manor was now in a predicament...Just how long does one wait until you replace a beloved technological family member?
Turns out?   Two weeks of hand feeding paper to rollers that will not, for lack of a better phrase -suck the paper in and print nothing- is the appropriate printer mourning time in our household......(Lappy top- you should take note....just sayin')

So we went to the Replace Your Dear Old Printer store (read:  Cosco---what can I say?  It was a great deal...or was it?) and brought home our BIGGEST fear.... A new technological device.......

Be still my heart...

Like our parents before us with a new  (gasp) VCR that will never ever read a time other than the blinking 12:00.....(eventually?  they put black tape over the numerals..I thought they were Cave people, but never actually fixed it for them.....(sorry, our father who art not in Heaven)  We forged forward with  dreaded fear of having to disconnect one wireless printer and hook up another.....___

Side bar, please....if it's all wireless, why did we have to connect it to lappy and the household internetz with...well, wires?

Two hours and many snarky remarks later by both the Mountain Man and mysuestories... and the moment of truth arrived.   We downloaded, we synced, we even tried to speak to a printer professional by of all things:  tech support on line......That was not so successful as I couldn't figure out how to actually answer the hopefully automated tech's questions because I, mysuestories, am a technological dinosaur.....Yes...that's me...the newly discovered Sue-Rex... which in my youth could have been mislabeled (I dare say) as Sue's Wrecked...

But I digress....Again...You know..the whole repetition thing....

Any who....eventually..after hours of telling the Mountain Man how much I ...let's just say....cannot stand things that begin with the letters:  Internet and Wireless and any other new technological change...
Eventually?   I hit Print...and guess what?  IT ACTUALLY PRINTED....Go Figure..

We, the pre-historically disabled Mountain Man and his well matched mate...ME (mysuestories) were actually able to disconnect old Petey and purchase, connect, and print something from Lappy and...wait for it...and print something from my phone...Did you, constant reader even know that could be done?   Me neither.

So, in light of our new interntz savviness..(?)  We are withdrawing out application to take in a foreign exchange student from a more technologically advanced country (why, no, I did not mention asian..Why do you ask?)

Just as well.   Now I have to go and cover up that little blue internetz symbol on the printer with black tape..   Hey...it's a family tradition, afterall.

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