Friday, June 6, 2014

Which Came First? The Chicken Wire or The Garden?

So, I ask you, constant reader, (or as constant as you could possibly be, considering the fact that I post almost as often as Tom Cruise puts out a good movie).....Once again, I digress..... So I ask you constant reader.......Why is the cheap, 16 inch high, wire fencing designed to protect the average man's garden called "CHICKEN WIRE"? Especially when we come home to find a chicken (okay....not a random chicken in a major city, but one of our neighbor's chickens) ....(Why, yes, yes, we do have neighbors with chickens.....why do you ask?).... Anyway, We, (the Mountain Man and I), come home to find a chicken trapped in our garden.....dining on our seedlings and pre-pubescent plants...INSIDE THE CHICKEN WIRE PERIMETER! HELLO? What good is it to have a CHICKEN WIRE perimeter if the chickens can permeate it? Wait, it gets better....(I think...depending on if you side with the Mountain Man or the Chicken).....And so the Mountain Man storms out to our anti-chicken enclosed garden to rid us of the beast...... (sorry, survivalist readers, there was no gun: hand held or otherwise involved) ......Any how, And so my knight in shining armor (dirty khaki shorts, truth be told, and an ink pen stain on his new shirt) storms the pest-proof garden....Which, by the way? Cornered chickens do NOT take well to grown (ok, questionable) but let's go with grown men...chasing them.....the poor chicken couldn't find its way out, nor could the Mountain Man catch the wild beast! (my hero, you say? Meh, maybe not so much!)... End result? Chicken scared to death managed to hop over protective garden fencing (Read: CHICKEN WIRE)...which is how the little f@cker entered the garden in the first place! Lesson to be learned? Chicken Wire does not neccesarily mean it can keep out chickens (But? Unintended side effect? It CAN raise the blood pressure of a certain Mountain Man!) And another side-effect? Mysuestories is kept in stitches! Chickens? You are safe on Hallowed MYSUESTORIES land!