Thursday, April 8, 2010

Addicted to Addiction?

I have a new addiction. It's this reality show I keep catching on t.v. It' s called Intervention, and ironically? It features people with addictions!!!!! (Only theirs are to drugs and alcohol...And we sooooo know I do not have a problem with alcohol......OK, maybe just a bit of a stalker like relationship with my favorite potato product...but it's not the same thing--I can quit any time I want to...I just don't want to).

Anyway, the premise of this show (which incidentally, airs I don't know exactly when or on which channel- hey, this isn't your local TV Guide, ya know)...the premise is that the production crew films the addicted person's struggle with addiction. They actually accompany and film the person buying drugs. Is it just me, but wouldn't you think your local drug dealer might be just a teensy bit unnerved by an addict showing up to score with a f@#king camera crew? And, then, they veryupcloseandpersonal show the addict smoking/snorting/drinking/injecting the actual drugs right up to the point where the person is usually so messed up they go into an incoherent babble and then nod off/pass out. I'm guessing the episode in which someone eventually overdoses and dies right there on t.v. is being saved for sweeps week.

And the reason why on earth this totally shitfaced person allows themselves and their often desperate (not to mention illegal) acts to be filmed? The addict is told he is being filmed as part of a documentary on (wait for it ... )Addiction.......???????!!!!!!!! After half an hour of watching said person degrade himself (peppered in with horror stories provided by key family members who have the pleasure of living with our star of the week), an interventionist corners the addict, along with all their family members, and a tearful plea is issued along with the chance of the addict going off to some very expensive-paid for by the show- rehab versus complete tough love-the addict being cut off by all family members, emotionally and financially.

While I find the concept of helping those in need of help admirable, it all seems a little too Maury Povitch for me ("you're a special little girl with Turrets, aren't you? And I bet it hurts you when people laugh and make fun of you publicly, kind of like how I am exploiting you right now.")

And how is it that although every single show follows the exact same course, these addicts never have any f@#king clue that this ain't no documentary, yo. Do they not watch t.v. in their stoned states? I went to college and there may have been some students (why, no, dear reader, of course not myself!)involoved with certain questionable smoked substances in those early years. Trust me, dude. We, I mean they, they watched a lot of t.v. ( And bonbons. They ate tons of bonbons. But this isn't about me, er, them...this time).

I threw the whole "how could the addict not realize this is that Stop the Addict from Partying Show, and not the "Your addicted life is so fascinating we want to film you, open sores and all" question to the mountain man. (He just loves when I start stimulating, educated conversations!)
After his perfunctionary eye roll that conveys something to the effect of "you went to college, and this is what we talk about?", the mountain man, in his infinite wisdom, explained exactly how this happens, week after week, addict after addict.

"mysustories, he began, " don't you realize that in a world of addiction, the t.v. is probably the first thing you sell to buy more crack?"

Hmmm..... okay. so he had me there.

And one day, should you find mysuestories on that god forsaken show, as my family tries to get between me and my unnatural addiction to bad reality t.v. shows, all while filming one, I will stand up and shout for all reality t.v. show addicts everywhere and say, "HELL NO, I WON'T GO!!!!"

And trust me, I'lll see their little interventionist coming. 'Cause there ain't no way in hell I'm selling my t.v. Not as long as there are train wrecks like Intervention still being aired!

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