Saturday, May 9, 2009

A Mother's Lament

We (I-the almighty and all knowing mysuestories) preempt today's regularly scheduled mysuestories to bring you a Mother's Day Public Service Announcement:

1. Flowers are always better when delivered to someone who can still appreciate them. Skip the funereal arrangements. Spend that money now!

2. There is no better present than that hand made card or unidentifiable clay ashtray. If you can't afford something, make something. Just don't let the kids glue glitter to the new kitchen table, 'mkay?

3. Breakfast in bed had better include kitchen clean up. Otherwise? Buy bagels. Trust me on this one!

4. Say "I love you, Mom." Don't assume she knows this. She does. But it's always nice to hear!

5. Don't just celebrate your mother. Honor anyone in any way that makes your life a nicer one! It'll make your day nicer, too!

5. If you are unfortunate enough not to have a mother to celebrate this deepest condolences. Plant a perennial flower somewhere in the yard. Add to it each and every Mother's Day. It won't change your situation, but it just may make you smile

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled post:

In my own attempt to revel in the bliss that is Mother's Day, I do solemnly swear to eat the scrambled eggs that may be just a tad too runny, the toast a little too well done. If you make it and serve me, I will eat it! (This also applies to consumption of poorly made cocktails, over done Hot Pockets, and broken OreO cookies, and is not limited to Mother's Day!)

I also promise to hold court from my throne (no, dear reader, not the porcelain one-but the couch!) and bark out commands for more grapes and additional palm leaf fannings on this: the only day that may actually work.

In addition, I will allow you, my beloved family (who don't actually read this blog, save the mountain man, so if you see this, constant reader, please leak this post, okay?)..any hoo, I will allow my family to carry on without me for a few hours while I primp and pamper myself in the salon/tanning salon/hammock or any such combination.

And I will also turn a blind eye this one day to whatever mess I return home to. If you can't clean it yourself, screw it. It can wait another day.

Oh, and as long as we're talking Fantasyland here, faithful blog lurkers, how about gifting me with a few (too many? How about one or two?) comments this week? Maybe? Okay, I'll take it!!

In the mean time, would you like to stop by for some runny delicious homemade eggs and weak coffee? Really! I'd be happy to share. Honest. I would. (Oh boy, would I !!!!!!)


rosa connor said...

i loved today's blog sue!! i woke up to scrabbled eggs, well done, an apple cut up and going brown, some home made flowers from tissue papers, and some really good coffee!! (i set up the coffee with the timer last nite!) we sat outside by the lake in my backyard, ate and fed the ducks some old crusty bread. and the best part?? they didnt have to spend a dime!!! i loved it!! thanks so much for your friendship and all the laughs!! today, i'm sure is a bittersweet day for you.. i'm thinking of you.. happy mother's day!! xxxoo rosa

Anonymous said...

I loved it. Well done. I know Mothers Day had to have been hard for you but you have a wonderful family to help you through.

Lora said...

This is great!
And I love that you mentioned ashtrays because I'm guessing that the schools aren't so much pushing the kiddos to make mom an ashtray anymore, are they?

I'm almost sad that my kid will never make an ashtray for his non-smoker mom. I could put earrings in it or something before I go to sleep