Friday, May 22, 2009

Locked In Or Out? And Does It Matter Which Side of the Fence You're On?

As we get ready to embark on another fun filled weekend of camping at the beach, I find myself remembering another weekend camping trip...(insert dream sequence music here...)

About ten years ago, mysuestories' then-husband and I took our kids camping with some friends at the local beach. It was one of our first times camping, and we borrowed a tent and some gear and took off for some sun and fun.

Well, there was fun to be had, but unfortunately there was not all that much sun. In fact, one evening as we were trying to sleep in a tsunami strength wind storm on open flat sand, mind you, what else could possibly go wrong? The wind is ripping through the fine, flimsy walls of our huge tent. The protective tarp covering is simply howling and whipping against said tent.

The kids, inexperienced campers that they were, were sufficiently terrorized and unable to sleep in such a chaotic beach of bedlam! And the then-husband and I were not much better off.
But as we tried to brave the weather, a tremendous thunderstorm broke out, thereby ending any chance of catching any sleep after a full day of sand play.

Not only did the lightening and thunder further scare the bejesus out of us (we were after all in a tent with aluminum poles - may as well just be wearing a sign that says Light My Fire, chrissakes!).

Side note: Are you aware, constant reader, that the words water resistant do not in fact mean water proof? Oh, hell-in-a-hand-basket no, it does not!!!!

So, you can imagine, we were now drenched as well as properly terrified in our "tent"/canoe!
By three am, we simply gave up and decided to just pack up the kids and make a mad drive for our homestead, which, coincidentally (or not-I can rough it only sooo much!) happened to be a mere five minutes away!!

We each scooped up a kid and ran for the parking lot and the safety of our car. As we were about to leave the parking lot to hell, we noticed a chain through the goddamn gates across the entrance. Apparently, this particular beach prefers not to allow visitors in after hours. Or out, either. Shit!

Exhausted and cursing silently, we made the kids as comfortable as two soaked to the skin, exhausted, terrified rats could possibly get and settled down for the remainder of our "Night in Hell".

Forget sleeping smashed in a car (although the uncanny ability of my children to fall asleep anywhere during anything amazes me to this day!) , I stewed and cursed (albeit silently), and waited for first light and the park employee who would surely release us from our prison!

About two hours into this new prison cell (read: vehicle), the then-husband and I notice a pre dawn lunatic an early morning fisherman drive up to the chained gate. We kinda chuckle at the dilemma he will now face, being locked out of where we would like to not be locked in! (The irony could kill ya, no?)

Then, to our horror and amazement, the fisherman/axe murderer(?) simply gets out of his car, walks over to the gate, and slips the unlocked chain through the gate!!!! Our hero returns to this car, enters, and simply drives through the friggin' entrance!!!

We may have at that very moment decided that the person sitting beside each other was , in fact, a moron, and divorce was definitely a thing to come, but I just remember being so grateful to get the f**k out of that miserable parking lot in that torrential rain, that our own idiocy was simply not so significant.

Now, the next day, when we returned for our flooded tent, that was significant idiocy, alas a tale for another day!

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