A Little Mother/Son Vacation? Not Likely!

Our eighteen year old three toed sloth mentioned to me that he had entered a contest to win a trip for two on a romantic couples escape vacation. Not only did he enter this, his very first contest, but he was absolutely positive he was going to be the winner out of tens of thousands of nationwide entries! And the drawing was to be held that day. And, he was checking his computer every five minutes for the results of such a wonderfully gifted contest!

For a kid who has to be prodded to leave a burning house, his enthusiasm was encouraging. So encouraging, that I, as his mother, felt it was my duty, no, make that my God given right by having spawned him, to set him straight about winning such a contest.

"You know, Sloth," I began gently, 'cause, I am -(gentle as grizzly!), ya know, millions and millions of people enter those contests all the time. Only One teeny tiny person's entry gets chosen."
"Some one's got to win, right? May as well be me, right?" Where this kid gets his optimism, I'll never know. I've tried to raise my kids to set their sights low, and this way, anything above "This Totally Sucks" would be a win. Smart, thinking, huh, reader?

Not to be deterred, I switched tactics.
"You know, Sloth, you may be eligible to win this trip, but who would you take? Your girlfriend is under eighteen, and I'm sure they wouldn't accept liability for a minor on a giveaway." I let that set in his mind for a moment, and then I went in for the kill.
"Sloth, you could take me! Just think, we could go out on the Sunset Cruise Ride with all the other "young" couples! They'd be sharing frozen drinks, and I'd be complaining how cold it is..."Oh, Sloth, it's very, very cold...fetch me a sweater, would you, dearie?"
"And think, when everyone else is playing silly pool side games, I could yell from my perch on a lounge chair, "Slothy, I need a pill. Can ya get me a pill for what ails me?" Very Norman Batesque! "'Course I would be wearing one of my from the neck to knees one piece bathing suits UNDER my best house coat!"

The sloth visibly paled and headed up for the sanctity of his bedroom.

Later, when he came down for dinner, I asked if he had gotten the results from the contest yet.
"No," replied a much more relieved Sloth. " I emailed and asked them to withdraw my name from the contest. Then I deleted their web site from my laptop. I'm never going to enter another contest again! There IS no winning in this one, anyway! "

Ahhhh....Another lesson taught by mysuestories! I tell ya, raising kids DOES have it's rewards. And, if you're really lucky, every once in a while you get to mess with their heads! Heh!