Saturday, February 14, 2009

Oh My Darling Toe Jam Tine-

Happy Valentine's Day, dear readers, (yes, plural..I am feeling pleasantly optimistic!)

As promised in yesterday's cliff hanger, I took my dear, sweet Mountain Man completely out of his element (read: beer, bodily noises, and anything fishing and hunting), and treated (ha!) him to a day of feet pampering.
That's right. My Valentine's Day gift to him/us was a stop at the local spa, where we BOTH (That's right..BOTH) had pedicures!

Now, I generally do my OWN pedicures and manicures at home. It's cheaper, and I am pretty damn good at it, if I may(and I do) say so myself. However, I HAVE been and DO go to the spa occassionally for the professional treatment of toes and fingers.
And...There's no way in hell I was gonna attempt a spa treatment on HIS feet! (Having a VISA card? PRICELESS!)
So, off to the salon we went...

Now, if you know ANYTHING about the mountain man, you would know that he and his 250 lb, six foot frame are not exactly akin to having strange asian women play with his
feet while sitting in an automatice massaging chair built for size six women.

Apparently, the three Korean women in the shop argued over WHO would have to deal with this Toe Jam Travesty. I don't speak Korean, but I'm pretty sure the words "I no do General Stinky Tsaos stinky toes!" were a firm denial of service. Suffice to say the oldest/ homeliest female in the salon drew the short straw.

Anyway, there was my hulk of a handsome man in a chair six sizes too small..
From My Pedi Valentine

And THEN he figured out the remote massage.
From My Pedi Valentine

"It rubs the lotion on it's skin, or it gets the hose again,"
From My Pedi Valentine

When the woman asked the Mountain Man to roll his pants up higher for the "Supreme Pedicure And Massage", I swear, he DID NOT offer to remove them altogether.....(Okay...I just WISHED that was the way it had played out...)
From My Pedi Valentine

Oh well. At least at the end of the day it paid off, (even if i can NEVER go back to that salon again!)
This is how the Mountain Man's feet look tonite:
From My Pedi Valentine

Whoops... A little too much info there...
Nope...THIS is what he looked like, REALLY, I swear!
From My Pedi Valentine

Shit! It's only toes, right?

1 comment:

Christine said...

We have a cute little phrase that we use, speaking as a manicurist when my dear husband threatens to go get a pedicure. We vociferously yell, "FTS*, I go work at zoo!" Not very PC, I understand, but I'm fairly certain that is how it would go.

*The "FTS" is said fully, not in initial format, I just wanted to spare your readers the bad language.