I received a letter in the mail from a national shipping company thanking me for having recently opened an account with them. That was nice of them. Unfortunately? I have nothing to ship nor receive, and I never opened any account.
I called the company and they verified that I did, in fact, open an account earlier this week with my very own credit card. Hmmm.... I will admit to late night impulsive shoe shopping, and Victoria does know all my dirty little secrets. I will even fess up to the occasional drunk dialing (Hi, Jeannie! I wuv youuuuu somush!), but signing up for a shipping service? Nah...not unless there were shoes in it for me (and? there weren't).
Turns out? Someone borrowed my card number and opened this account. Swine. And after a few more calls I learned he charged $15.00 in iTunes. The bastard.
Cancelled cards. Cancelled transactions. Hours on the phone with credit reporting agencies. Notifying everyone. Major time suck.
But I got him back in the end, the little f@cker! Apparently his attempt to buy $900 worth of electronics? DENIED!!!! Next time the little sh*t should pick on someone with a better credit line!!! Hah!
Oh, and Mr. M@therf#cker who stole my identity (however, short lived as it was)? Next time don't leave your own e mail address and cell phone number with that shipping company. Turns out the police fraud department was able to track you down real easy!
If stupidity was a crime? This guy would be doing life.
Oh, and one of the iTunes he downloaded? The Beatles, I'm A Loser.
Yes. Indeed you are!
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