Tuesday, November 24, 2009

NaNoWriMo is susiese for Ho

It is day 24 of the 30 day writeathon that is somebody kill me please National Novel Writing Month. Of course, if you started 3 days late like I did, it's only day 21. At 1700 words a day, I should be at a grand tally of some where around 40,000 words. Forty thousand. Just a hop, skip, and a jump, no?

Well, er, no. I, mysuestories, who decided to hang her artistic novel writing career on the dim hopes of competing in a contest in which some body who is actually some body may chance upon my superior writing skills and say , "hey..this shit is the shit!", and would then live happily ever after in my castle with servants who would post to this blog daily.....

Yep, it's day 23. I have a total word count of ...wait for it..... 4,180 words. Total. Somewhere I can hear Rambo's Colonel Crenshaw uttering, "It's over, Johnny".

Oh, it's not that the storyline wasn't good. It had affairs of the heart and flesh. There was the floozy girlfriend, the heartless husband, the sexless wife. And yet, the more I wrote, the more they all shared one thing in common: they were whores. Every which way I turned them, they were promiscuous little sluts served with a side of deviant behavior. My sympathetic heroine was a sleeze, for the love of God. I added in a child to tone things down a bit---next thing I know, she's giving hand jobs in the school parking lot! I was afraid to give her a younger brother...I couldn't bear to spawn a child gigolo sucking d*ck to support his playstation addiction. I mean, really, mysuestories? This is the best you could do?

My only defense is that the pressure of having to pump out words on a schedule AND the lack of time for actual real life sex sleep left me wide open and vulnerable to sleeze (Oh great! Now I sound like one of my own fictional harlots....)

Well, there is always next year...maybe I could work on a nice little children's book. You know, something that can only be found in the XXX rated book store. Now that'll make my parents proud!

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