Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Picture of a Dead Fish......Priceless

M'kay. Let me start with a little explanation for yesterday's post. The finished published post was a picture of a fish. Not the pretty colored salt water swimming in an expensive fish tank, kind. It was a yellow fin tuna, and the only thing it was swimming in upon the killing table of the boat we were on in Costa Rica, was it's own blood. Let me 'splain, Lucy.

I like to think I am an educated woman of the twenty first century. I zipped through high school, and hold not one, but two degrees. Yep. If your ever need a criminal justice major who did NOT go into the field, just give me a ring. And if a bachelor of arts degree in English literature turns you on, then I'm your James Joyce (or would I be Evelyn Waugh?). All this education and what I thought of as mostly self taught computer efficiency, and it's all for naught.

For weeks (months?), I have been trying to bring the majestic world of Kodak memories to my blog. Think of the accompaniments to my posts I could add! I mean, nothing sums up my life better than a picture of my two male dogs humping TOGETHER, while the third (the only female) looks on forlornly. Imagine the kick up of embarrassing moments to my family as I am able to reveal their most intimate moments ALL WITH PICTURES TO PROVE IT!

But, alas, all the education in my world had not prepared me for the web-traveling highway of sharing picture and photo albums. Granted, I was not a criminal justice PHOTOGRAPHER , which just might have been helpful. And hell, not ONE English lit anthology had so much as a picture in it. So, maybe I had a handicap.

So I researched, and fiddled with Picasa Web Photos. Oh, and did I mention I spent many hours that may have been better spent cooking and shopping for my family, yep, many, many hours trying to post a single solitary picture to this blog. And in the end, after copying and pasting dozens of html addresses and more than a few curse words later......I got nothing. Yep, Me and Richard Gere. We got no place left to go.

So I did what any other mature wife and mother and full time working lady of the evening (OK- so I work days-It just sounds so bland that way!)--so I did what any other woman of my educational and professional background would do. I called my daddy. Yeh, the one who couldn't work the VCR for years, and finally admitted defeat by putting a piece of electrical tape over that damned blinking 12:00 that could not be made to go away. This, the same man who hadn't touched a computer up until two years ago.

I called, I whined, I lamented my woes at the complexities of the cruel cyber world. And then I hung up, not having accomplished anything other than unloading and sharing my miseries, even if my dad had not a clue as to what I was bitching about.

Two days (and many more hours of useless photo fiddling later), I received a call from the dad of the dark ages. It seemed he was surfing (? -he can DO that?) in search of a solution to my photographic ineptness, and thought he might have stumbled upon a solution. With more than a little reservation, I promised to attempt again that evening to post a photo HIS way.

Well, if you saw my post yesterday (and if not, take a look today- it's always nice to know what the hell I'm rambling about - Lord knows I don't always know!) You can see, proudly displayed for all eyes...A picture of a dead fish. Believe it or not, as usual, Daddy DOES Know Best. And, granted, the picture claims it's a slide show, even though it is just. the. one. picture. (OK, I'm an overachiever with higher expectations than talent). But we have made giant leaps and bounds in the development of mysuestories history!

Of course, once I was able to post a photo, it occurred to me that I had nothing of marginally any interesting value to post. It appears that photo of my two male dogs humping while number three looks on is forever floating out in cyberspace somewhere between the e-mail to my photo album and the actual post office box in space. So I had to settle for the "I'm just a poor fish minding my own business, looking for a little lunch, and now I'm left high and dry in a boat and someone just whacked me in the head with a club" dead fish photo.

A true Kodak moment. It would make a father proud!

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